My Brain MRI

I recently had an MRI of my brain. This was my first MRI experience and I was a bit nervous; not only about the experience itself but the findings that will come of it.

I spent the day prior to the test getting mentally prepared. I wanted to leverage the intensity of the experience in a way that added something rich & powerful to my heart space.

This blog shares a little bit about my MRI experience along with some of my SoulCollage creations.

Once I changed out of my clothes into hospital garb, they started my IV and shuttled me into the MRI room. They laid me down with my head in a brace so I wouldn’t move during the 45 minute session. They covered my eyes with a cloth so I wouldn’t get claustrophobic in the small tunnel of the machine. They also put headphones on me so I could listen to spa type music during the experience, which I am so grateful for. The music helped me so much!!!

Since the MRI was of my brain, during the session I focused on the Crown Chakra, which governs the brain, thoughts, beliefs & the collective consciousness and universal experience we are all in.

As the machine clicked away and took pictures of my brain, I tapped into the collective brain of our planet, created from all the thoughts and beliefs of humans around the world. Together our thoughts and beliefs create the collective mind of humanity. As I laid there in stillness, I had time to reflect on what I am contributing to the collective brain matter of humanity.

Maybe now, you will take a few breaths to contemplate...what thoughts & beliefs are you adding to the collective mind of the world? How do these mental constructs expand or contract potential, peace and sustainability for us now, and for future generations?

As I laid in the MRI machine, I tapped into ancestor medicine and was able to see the output of the collective thoughts & actions of all of our ancestors, and how these have contributed to this Now time we are in. And while our ancestors created numerous technologies, languages, medicines and gadgets that have “helped” our lives, they also created a lot of dissension, division, hatred, and debris that we now are living in too.

Then the nurse came in and injected the dye into my IV so they could see better contrast in the vascular matter of my brain. When she injected the dye, I connected into the contrast we have with our beliefs & thoughts with other people, and how this contrast causes so much hated and opposition, and how this slows down the progress of healing, collaboration and love between people, families, communities and nations.

My nose started to itch, my ear started to ache, my IV started to hurt. I wanted to move but I had to be still for the MRI . This was a powerful lesson about being in the discomfort of what my ancestors and myself (and you & we) have created with this lifetime.

So there I was, laying in stillness, looking at the contrast of what I want vs. what is, and how my brain matter contributes to the experience I/You/We live in, and what we will pass on to future generations. I felt the sadness well up in me, but I knew I couldn't cry due to the test...so I connected in with my breath and went deeper with my meditation.

As I laid there in the machine, I reflected on a chapter in Brene’ Browns book called “Braving the Wilderness”. The chapter is called “People are hard to hate close up. Move in.”

With the pandemic, increased experiences of isolation, extreme political opposition, and our expansive use of social media, I reflected on how much the spread of hatred has increased around the world in my life time. It’s no longer just bred in our family, schools and communities, now it can be easily thrown over the fence at others, in seconds, across country lines, from anyone to anyone. With just the click of a button, we can add so much toxicity to the collective brain matter of humanity, and the ripple effects will live on for generations, if not forever.

The amount of hatred and toxicity we can create now is greater than any other time in history. It’s so easy for someone to sit behind a screen and perpetrate so much toxicity into the collective brain matter of the world. And while I understand this toxicity is emitted from the person’s own hurt, anger and fear, it would have a different tone and outcome if it was expressed while in closer relationship to other. Coming into active participation with humanity and engaging in relationship with others in a vulnerable way, can transform our pains in profound ways that can not be realized from distances separated by walls and computer screens, and barricaded bunkers of belief.

This observation called me into a deeper call of action for my MiddleWorld Apprenticeship to expand wider into relationship with humanity. To actively participate with others in deeper communion, in vulnerable and connected ways, that honor the depths and pains of being human, and doing so in a way that adds healing balm to the wounds of our broken being.

It’s a tall order, and it’s easier said than done, however, we are each responsible for stepping up and in; myself included. And even if it is through computer screens, which is how I interact with a lot of my business associates around the world, being more present and vulnerable to truth, collaboration, inclusivity and co-creation is needed to turn the dial towards a better now and future. We are the only hope we have for anything better.

And so I laid there and let this machine capture my brain as all of these ideas and thoughts moved through my mind. I offered a prayer into the collective brain of the world that each person do a better job with actively participating with humanity, and engaging in intimate relationship with others, in a way that adds more healing and wholeing into our living processes, so that we can have better lives that ripple forward in positive ways into the future as well.

The prayer is not that we all think and act the same, that would be boring. Opposition offers expansive ways of seeing things and can open up new possibilities and solutions. However to get there, we need to be more aware of the forces that influence our individual thoughts and beliefs, and honor others in a way that includes them in conversation and collaboration, and that we stay open to changing our minds, and evolving our thoughts and beliefs along the way.

There is something better than the trajectory we are on. To turn the dial, we all need to participate in some way, into being better humans on this planet. And that will take getting up close and personal with humanity and opening our heart along the way. And in the process, allowing our thoughts and beliefs to evolve, so that we can contribute something of expansive value into the collective mind of humanity.

This is the prayer that emerged from me as I laid in stillness during the MRI of my brain. I am grateful for spirit keeping me company through this process, and for my close circle of friends supporting me during these challenging times.